Accepting YOUR life and loving it!
Ever find yourself envious of your friends life?
“Grass is greener on the other side” mentality.
I think this is simply a natural feeling or thought, human nature if you please. If only a fleeting, brief moment and not something that you dwell on and allow yourself to feel resentful and bitter about. I admit to doing this every so often. I see my younger coworkers seemingly living a life consisting of fun and health. Beach weekends, club-hopping, hours and hours dedication to their fitness, shopping sprees and the list goes on!
While I admire their sun kissed, youthful, healthy glows and age, I also realize I have had these moments too! In that moment; feeling that twinge, the slight pang of jealousy for the freedom they exude, the time they have to spend on solely themselves, their style, fitness, social, fun escapades and not being tied down to commitments of spouse and children. Not having to rush home after a long harried day of work to make dinner and do laundry. Making sure homework is all done and still squeeze in some one on one time attend sporting events and have to schedule quick work-outs ONLY when it’s a possibility
Having to put getting your hair professionally styled or getting a manicure and pedicure on the bottom of priority list because your son needs football cleats or a $400 baseball bat, or his car insurance and gas money aside from spending money.
At 41 years of age, with a 17 year old son and a husband to come home too not to mention a 120 lb American Bulldog who thinks he’s human and my second child, well let’s just say I am not my main priority. Don’t get me wrong, I still color my own hair and although frugal, I love clothes so I try to stay stylish but don’t get to splurge much. I have a gym membership and go to Zumba classes but ONLY when my son doesn’t have any games scheduled or I don’t have to rush home to cook dinner first.
With that said you can easily understand where I am in a position to be a bit envious of these 20-something year olds. When that fleeting moment does occur, I don’t dwell on it long. I don’t let it simmer enough to feel bad. I, instead look at the details of my life and see the blessings. I focus on the great things that ONLY I have experienced in my life. My handsome, healthy, smart and athletic son, my husband whom help me create him and the life we’ve built together. The fact that I don’t have impress anyone or compete with anyone to find my soulmate in life or have to deal with the dating scene. That I have the loves of my life around me daily, that I don’t come home to an empty house ever! I have love, companionship, conversation and yes loud, dysfunctional and at times dramatic and messy household…but it’s my life and I am happy and proud to be living it!
I wouldn’t trade where I am right this very minute to have to a chance to repeat that age and live it all over again or be in their shoes. They have yet to find “the one”or have children. Although their lives may be exciting, fun, independent and carefree I still see a loneliness in them. I am happy for their successes and to be honest, they help push me to certain limits of health and fitness, career goals because I see how passionate they are in their pursuit. It’s refreshing and contagious as well as a good influence, but I realize they are in their own predicaments. Searching for love and acceptance, trying to find themselves competing for the attention of all the wrong types of men. I have been there too, I have experienced these moments and the time has come and gone. I accept my life and my age and truly enjoy living it. Only when we accept the path we have walked in life and open our eyes to the blessings we are surrounded by daily, appreciate our family, careers, health can we truly be happy.
The Grass is not always greener on the other side. Everyone is dealing with some sort of challenge no matter how beautiful the facade may look, or how enticing someone may portray it to be. Live your life for YOU. Enjoy the life you have. If anything continue to make positive changes daily only so you can feel pride in the imprint you’re leaving behind. You are the only one whom gets the chance to live your life, make it the best you can and appreciate it. Although it’s such a natural thing to do, to compare our lives with others. To want what they have; you never know who is envious of YOUR life. I intend to continue enjoying my life, in my forties, healthy, career driven, completely involved and dedicated to my son, enjoying my family and my path.
I think at times some of these young twenty-somethings may in fact be a bit envious of my life too 🙂 xoxoxoxo
Parenting Overkill
Living life through our children?
I’ve seen this so often in recent years, in more ways than one. I can even admit that my husband and I have been guilty of it in our son’s life as well. It’s especially common when you are the parent of an athlete. The demands, expectations of perfection, domination of the sport is so easily put upon the shoulders of our young children. Even at such an early age, when they’re so innocent and willing to please mom and dad. It’s so sad to realize it now, to look back and know how much weight you may have put on those small shoulders for you child to bear.
In this era of such stiff competition between not only athletes but the bragging rights, or should I say pride of our children’s accomplishments (sort of like Keeping up with the Joneses’ mentality) seems like such a common thing that most parents do. I can say that it’s the worst thing to do. My son is 17 years old and lucky for us, he loves playing competitive sports and is a natural athlete. He enjoys the challenge of the discipline coaches put on him, only because he sees firsthand the rewards of winning, of becoming better and being good at his sport. He has fun. At this point its a natural part of his life – he’s been at it since he was 4 years old. We realize now that he is his own person and we have already learned from our mistakes when he was still playing Little League baseball and Popwarner football. My husband would at times try to challenge him to work harder and be better by criticizing his errors, provoking him to improve by replaying his mistakes or vocalizing the things we thought he could do better. This is fine when it really is just advise in a positive manner, but when you’re disappointed by their performance because in your own mind you feel they could’ve performed better, things have a way of coming out much harsher, especially to an already dejected kid, feeling sad and upset over his own performance. This is something we couldn’t understand back then. My son was already mature enough and competitive enough – that loosing or not performing 100% in his own opinion..was already the worst feeling he could imagine. To top it off, he’d still have to listen to mom and dad’s critique of his performance!
This may have instilled an even harder work ethic, or possibly given him more motivation and inspired him to want to make his parents and coaches proud..or it could have had the complete opposite effect as well. If my son had not been of strong character he could have felt completely depleted of hope and just given up! I’m so thankful that it did not have the latter effect. We are some of the luckier parents in that sense, because I see parents still pushing, prodding, humiliating their children at games even now in high school. Grown men, whom are living through their son’s glory or trying to push them to the extreme to compete for it They yell at them from the stands and humiliate them – even players that cry after a loss or personal performance because they’re afraid to hear what their fathers will say or how disappointed they’ll be. There is resentment and dread from these young men. I’ve seen good athletes with so much potential just give up completely because they do not want to disappoint their parents expectations of them. At times, there are parents who have unattainable expectations of their child, because they just plain and simply do not have the skill level to meet them, but the parent does not want to accept this. Parents have to stop trying to live their children’s lives. We need to sit back and appreciate the capabilities that our children have, their individuality and push them to meet their own goals. I’m not saying we shouldn’t push them to excel or challenge them to succeed – but don’t expect your child to live the life YOU want them too. If that means, playing the sport you want as opposed to what they want, or if they are more artistic than athletic, allow them to be themselves. We shouldn’t overwhelm them with our dreams, we’ve already had our chance to live them. This is their time, be his/her supporter an alliance a team..not the bully parent whom demands and exceeds but never truly understands them. You will leave your child full of resentment and possibly push them to quit or rebel.
My son wants to pursue sports in college, it’s his dream and in turn it’s our dream for him. He’s also is mature enough to realize that may not happen and even now, as a Junior in HS he coaches my husband and I, and reminds us of the possibility that may be the case. He promises us he’ll continue his academic achievements. That’s a given because he’s such a smart boy, but playing sports is a goal of his, and an added plus, but we are proud of him just the way he is. If it doesn’t happen we know he’ll go on to pursue other goals, interests in college and achieve them – whatever they may be. This is part of letting them go and allowing them to Live Their Own Lives, make their own decisions.
So enjoy your children and participate in their lives…just avoid trying to live it for them… xoxoxo
Everyone needs a little shade of “Grey” in their lives..
Christian Grey that is. 
OK, so I’m not one to promote this book for its literary context but you have to understand that it’s a Fun, oh so interesting and definitely a stimulating read! Men, don’t be shy..read it for yourself and find out why your girlfriends or wives are buzzing about it, maybe learn a little bit of what us women fantasize about but would never actually talk about. This is the reason I decided to write this post I’ve noticed more and more men reading the book, interested in finding out what the big deal is! In fact, they had a reading (excerpt) from the book on the radio show I listen too this morning, and I was laughing so hard hearing all the male, listeners calling in raving about it!
It oozes seduction in a very dangerous way. The main character “Christian Grey” is a rich, young and handsome business mogul whom has a very dark side (S&M is only the surface of what he likes) and he lures a very young, college student “Katherine Kavanaugh” into his ways. Both characters are very likeable in their individual ways, but the relationship between the two, sexual and emotional is what keeps you hanging on, begging for more and more. In the beginning of the book (I’ve only read the first one) I really love Katherine’s character, she’s smart, sharp, witty and very funny in a subtle way – kind of like she really doesn’t mean to be funny, but her thoughts or comments just are. She’s super intelligent and has a great work ethic with her studies and life. I imagined her beautiful, but in a natural way. Christian Grey is very mysterious, especially with his past, his family why he is the way he is currently. He’s charming, charismatic, witty and controlling in all areas of his life. Very fashionable (where Katherine isn’t) athletic and fascinating. Who wouldn’t fall in love with a character like this? What I like most is his complexity. He is drawn to Katherine (yes for her beauty) but mostly for her personality and while she’s quiet and shy – her intelligence and an inner strength shines though to Christian. Could be from her somewhat, accidental, sarcastic comments during their initial meeting – but these are the qualities I loved about her character as well.
The sexual interludes in the book are not depicted as violent, at least not violent in a bad way. Instead the author turns it into something so much more sensual and erotic. Things I never in my life would have dreamed of, fantasized about or would ever imagine thinking of being a “turn-on”..actually were! The author (Erika Leonard) better known as E. L. James – did a great job of wording the scenes and constructing the characters in such a way that the more aggressive moments leave you wide-eyed but flushed wth..desire/longing..yes..all of the above. I admit it, and hence the reason this book is considered (erotica) to some. It’s a “Romance Novel” and I consider it as such, because there is much more depth to the relationship between the two characters. I will admit to the fact that I did get somewhat, frustrated with Katherin Kavanaughs character towards the end of the first book. Maybe because I hoped the strength her character showed in the beginning would allow her to say “No” to Christian’s expectations of her, but all in all I enjoyed the book and will definitely purchase book 2.
I do suggest you Fellas pick the book up, if only just for “research” or just plain curiosity..I think a lot of men will indulge and enjoy the spark it will ignite in your own bedroom 🙂
Until next time… xoxoxoxoxo
Ladies version of Office Politics..
We all play the game, some better than others but it is a survival technique in any office if you want to keep the peace and get ahead.
My office for instance consists mostly of females. I know, I know…this is so typically a recipe for disaster! fortunately it works in my company.
We have our personalities, don’t get me wrong and it’s competitive but cordial one might even say friendly.
I’ve worked in companies before where too many women competing for recognition, attention, or even just job security can get quite vicious!
On any giving Sunday, a woman’s rivalry with one another can get much more gruesome than men’s!
In my workplace it’s an undercurrent, a small ripple so subtle that if you are not familiar with the signs, you might not notice it’s even present.
If I am aware of the presence I’ll usually absorb it and only react to it if relates directly to me.
Let’s just say, if I hear the whispering, or odd glances amongst other employees, a smirk, giggle – whatever the sign is, but know for a fact is has nothing to do with me
I will ignore it, let it float over me, walk away without even getting involved (Keeping the Peace / Staying Neutral)
At my age, and due to my experiences with office politics, if i feel it may have an inkling of association to me in any way- I face it head on.
I’ll interrupt a hushed conversation, to inquire on the topic – or make a reference of some sort.
I want my co-workers to understand if they have a doubt, question, concern about my work or myself then they damn well should include me in their public discussions.
I think because of this, I don’t encounter much, if any of those situations and if they are present I’m blissfully oblivious to them 🙂
You have to choose your friendships wisely, especially in the office.
So many times I’ve encountered those women whom want to show much interest in becoming “friendly” only to extract your thoughts, plans, ideas
And then repeat them or mis-communicate them to all the wrong people – of course this is blatant and done for an ulterior motive of their very own.
At my age, I can pick these young, corporate climbing ladies out of a line-up, blindfolded.
I don’t fall for these tactical maneuvers and if I do happen to give you that juicy tid-bit of private information it’s because I wanted you to have it
for my own ulterior motives 🙂
Yes, we all play the game of Office Politics and that includes me..too!
Sweet dreams…. xoxoxoxo
Social Media in my life..
Just an afterthought of today, since most of my Sunday consisted of Social Media in one way or another..
Today was spent mostly on all different forums of Social Media. Due to starting this blog, publishing it on other websites and creating a Twitter account, periodically checking in on Facebook. Sunday is typically my chill at home, cleaning house & doing laundry day..and in between I was clicking away on my laptop, working on this new little project of mine.
I came to a realization, and finally asked myself “Just how important is Social Media in my life?” The answer I came up with, immediately was “Very!” Honesty is the best policy..and this conclusion came clearly and is very true! I normally use Social Media to keep tabs on my family. The ONLY way I know what is going on in their lives is via Facebook! Okay..granted we live thousands of miles away. I, in Florida and my sister and her family, my in-laws, cousins, aunts, niece and nephews all live in California. My father and grandmother in Mexico..so yes, this is typically our way of interacting, feeling involved or sharing our lives with one another. It’s actually pretty awesome if you think about it..but it is NOT enough for me. I am not one to settle for the superficial, online/web relationship. Seems like gone are the days of letter writing (by hand/personalization) and I can understand that but I do enjoy hearing my family and friend’s voice, the spontaneity of a real conversation whether it be about relationships, politics, the weather, or any random topic! It’s just a genuine feeling, and closeness it offers. Of course, topping this off would be face to face contact.
The sadness of this is that most people in this era, tend to be completely fulfilled with keeping everyone at a certain distance, and complacent with their online relationships. The posting on walls a quick hello, e-mailing a short note, Tweeting each other coded messages. It’s easy, superficial and takes much less effort. You can create a mood, a life, eliminate the bad things…don’t get me wrong you can do that via phone or in person too..but usually your loved one’s can see past your facade.
To wrap this up, I will say that I do enjoy and appreciate Social Media in many capacities. This blog being one of them, sharing my vacations with family and friends thousands of miles away another reason, but I truly do miss the more personal and intimate connections. It’s all a matter of how we allow this tech savvy new era into our lives. I choose to appreciate it but not prioritize it. Goodnite!! xoxoxoxo
Latina living her life at 40 – sharing my life!
So Welcome!
My very first post and I’m excited and nervous at the same time. The sole purpose of this blog is to share my life/thoughts/goals/interests, etc and hope that by doing so, anyone affected by them can walk away having learned, been affected or inspired or possibly share their own thoughts and it be a mutual experience – and a therapeutic one at that.
So let’s begin my introduction to you, shall we? Yes, I’m 40 years old and Mexican-American. I put that out there because I don’t fall into the stereotype of what a Mexican woman looks like. I am light complexion, light brown hair(with sporadic gray pushing through if not for me color treating it), light brown (at times hazel eyes) and around 5’6. living in Florida most people whom I meet, know I’m Latina but never assume I’m Mexican. I’m used to it. I am married, have a 16 (soon to be 17 year old son) and am a newly licensed real estate agent. I’m happy and proud to state that fact and I’ll touch on it more in other posts, but I believe that you should never stop aspiring to be all you can be. Sounds cliché’ but, who would have thought 10 years ago I’d be in the Real Estate industry with my license and soon to be venturing into being my own boss. I came from a clerical/administration background and back then was content to just have a secure job. As I’ve gotten older, I’m tapped into my passions, interests and really have come to realize I have many goals that I never knew I had in my twenties. This is the difference I learned in my thirties, I finally realized who I was and what I want in life. A very late bloomer, I know..but it is the way is.
I enjoy staying healthy and fit. I exercise often at the gym (not a gym rat by any means) and when vacations come around, I do slack off on my regimen. Right now being one of those times. I haven’t been to the gym in over a week. My plan is to get back into my regimen starting tomorrow (Monday). I love clothes and chic, classy but trendy styles. High heels, painted toe-nails, skinny jeans, pencil skirts, belted summer dresses, sexy but classy. I truly enjoy being a woman, and exuding my sensuality, being feminine.
I’m an avid reader (fiction mostly but also enjoy spiritual and self help books when in the mood, as well as biographies). I’m a big time sports fan. First and foremost my son’s HS teams, he plays football, baseball and basketball, but next would be College ball, Florida teams (UF Gators, USF Bulls) and of course we live in Florida so I root for Miami Heat, Tampa Bucs and Tampa Rays. These teams will make for some future posts as well 🙂
I will end this intro with saying that this is the first time I tap into my creative side, publicly. I’ve always enjoyed writing, letters poems, short stories but I ask you bear with me on this blog, it is a brand new experience for me and a learning process. I will put all my effort into keeping it interesting and fun, but there are many stories in my life/on my mind that will get into darker times in my life, issues I’m currently dealing with and thoughts I have on deeper and more controversial topics. My thoughts and opinions are just that..mine, and I don’t expect them to be the same to everyone else so I do ask you don’t take offense but instead feel free to help me understand your perspective/experience and which I can also learn from.
Ending my first post on a very positive note, and really looking forward to putting my thoughts down for my next post. Until then..xoxoxo
livingherlifeat40 